


When in Vegas

by Riddlebird-puff (hobbitpuff)



Series: Riddlebird Week 2018 [1]
Category: Batman (1966), Gotham (TV)
Genre: 66 Batman with Gotham references, 70's Fic, Future AU, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M, Old Rogues, Prompt: Vacation, Riddlebird Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobbitpuff/pseuds/Riddlebird-puff
Summary: For Riddlebird Week - VacationOswald is preparing to open up another Iceberg Lounge in Vegas and brings Edward along for a vacation where they take part in one of Vegas' most honored traditions: the Vegas wedding, Gotham style.** 66 verse **





	When in Vegas

**Author's Note:**

> For Riddlebird Week 2018 I have decided to write in my personal favorite era of 66 Riddlebird. However this fic features an older Riddlebird and takes place in the 70s. So keeping with the era their marriage is not legal but it is very much real to them. 
> 
> Also this fic is not based on Gotham/ Nygmobblepot but I have borrowed Martine because dadwald is (un)arguably the best thing to come out of Gotham. And if you want to picture Nygmobblepot feel free.
> 
> Posting early while I have access to my laptop.

“I like this city.” Ed declared from Oswald’s side.

 

Oswald looked up at the blinking neon lights and grimaced. This city was too bright and loud for his refined tastes. It was like a plastic playground for grownups. But the money was real enough.

 

“The Riddler would fit right in here.” Oswald dodged one of the street walkers that came too close. “I will have need for someone I trust to run things here. Are you angling for the job, Ed?” 

 

“You will not make an honest businessman out of me that easily, Ozzie.” Edward chuckled. “The Riddler belongs to Gotham. And Nigma belongs to the King of Gotham.” He took Oswald’s hand and kissed the back of it.

 

“Caution. Someone could see you.” 

 

“Look around, Ozzie. No one cares if two old men hold hands while they walk on the streets here.” He chuckled. “Even two old rogues like us.”

 

Oswald looked around them and indeed no one seemed to be paying them much attention. In this city of sin they were only another pair of aging gays out on the streets. He found it ironic that only in this city where nothing was real were they free to walk together in the open like this. 

 

“Not sure this town is quite ready for a team up of the Penguin and Riddler.”

 

“I was thinking more this might be a decent place to retire to when the Riddler and Penguin can no longer keep up with the Batman.” Ed poked Oswald’s side. “I’ll need someone to look after me in my sunset years, you old bird.”

 

“I am sixteen years your senior, Ed.” Oswald grunted. He felt like an old bird. 

 

“But you’re my, what did that boob at the dinner call you, Sugar Daddy?” Edward chuckled. “Anyway, you have just grown more refined with age.” 

 

“Like an aged bottle of fine full bellied wine, perhaps?” Oswald patted his large belly with a laugh. “I seem to grow wider as you just get thinner and thinner.” 

 

“Must be you eating all the fat off of me.” Ed winked. Oswald choked. “But why wine? Why not cheese? Cheese is more filling. I say you have aged like a fine block of sharp cheese, Ozzie.” 

 

“I swear you grow more ridiculous the older you get, Nigma.” He smiled fondly.

 

“Would you say, I’ve gotten more cheesy with age?” Edward giggled. 

 

Oswald’s groan turned into laughter. “Didn’t the Riddler more than once state that puns were the lowest form of humor?”

 

“What can I say? My brain is growing as soft as Swiss cheese at its old age.” Ed tipped his hat to a group of young women that walked past them giggling. 

 

“I haven’t kept you around this long for your mind, Nigma.” Oswald chortled. “And when your salami becomes bratwurst there won’t be any reason to keep you around.” 

 

“Hoho. Do you speak to Martine with that mouth?”

 

“Martine is my son, Ed.” Oswald spoke of his adopted son with pride. “He has said far worse with his fingers than I have ever spoken with my tongue.” For Martine was mute and only communicated by sign language and writing on a pad. 

 

“How is the boy? The last I heard of him was the postcard from Paris.” Edward wrapped his arm around Oswald’s shoulder. “I’m still surprised you allowed him to backpack across Europe alone.” 

 

“Not sure he can be considered alone in the company of his own bodyguard slash assassin. And Martine and Zsasz certainly brought more luggage than what can be carried in a backpack.” 

 

Oswald’s history with the assassin was checkered at best however Zsasz’s loyalty to his heir was unquestioned. And Martine had only agreed to his father’s terms if Zsasz answered to him and not Oswald.

 

“Martine looked so much like you used to at his age in the picture he sent that I almost believed you had finally left me and run off with Zsasz.” Ed kissed his cheek.

 

“Martine is taller than me, smarter than you, and better looking than us both. He is the best of us both and better than either.” Oswald smiled. “I almost pity the Bat.”

 

“He’s the reason for all this, isn’t he?” Ed tucked his hands underneath Oswald’s heavy coat. “You’re setting up this branch of the Lounge for him.” 

 

Oswald sighed. “Gotham is changing, Ed. For better or worse our way is dying. I am too old for change, we are too old for change, but this will be Martine’s world. And he will have everything I can give him to thrive in it.” 

 

“Martine will not leave Gotham, Ozzie.” Ed nuzzled against his neck. “He has too much of his father in him. Did you know Zsasz has begun to call him the Emperor Penguin?” He chuckled. “It suits the boy I must admit.” 

 

The nickname had started as a cruel jest towards himself but the boy had taken the name in pride and to honor his adopted father, the Penguin. Oswald had only cried twice in Martine’s presence, the first time he called him father and the day Martine adopted the title as his own. 

 

Oswald grunted. “That it does.” 

 

“I tried to talk him into the Riddling Penguin.” Edward chuckled. “He was not impressed.” 

 

Martine had shown Oswald the drawing of a penguin dressed in the Riddler’s trademark green, tears of silent laughter streaming down his face. 

 

“He said it sounded like a venereal disease,” Oswald said. Edward laughed.

 

“How much farther to the Lounge?” Edward asked in his ear. “I can’t wait for you to show me your own riddling penguin, Pengy.” He giggled.

 

“You are very drunk.” Oswald laughed and pulled Ed’s hands away from his belt. He had lost track of how many glasses of champagne Edward had downed after the third. “We’re near now.” And if he knew the Riddler he would be fast asleep before there would be any riddling going on.

 

“We’ll drink a toast and christen the grounds of the new Lounge.” Ed licked his ear. 

 

Oswald grunted. They had christened so many places in the Iceberg Lounge back in Gotham the place should have been more holy than most churches.

 

“We’re here.” Oswald covered Edward’s eyes and faced him towards the building. It was still under construction but the front had been the first section completed. He took his hands away. “Well?” 

 

“It looks like Gotham took over Disneyland.” Edward giggled. “It’s perfect. Does Joker know the Mistress of Ceremonies shares an uncanny resemblance to him?” He pointed to the marquee above them. 

 

“Does he know? The prince of clowns posed for the artist himself.” Oswald looked up at the very female form larger than life above them and shuddered. “The artist took some liberties as you can see.” 

 

“Is that a Riddler-ette too?” Edward stepped closer to the marquee posters.

 

“Every decent club has need of a stage magician.” 

 

“You know how I feel about tricks and sleight of hand. Though I’m guessing she doesn’t have much hidden up her sleeve, or anywhere else for that matter.” 

 

“Sex sells here. Or so I have been told.” 

 

“I hope you brought one of those outfits for me.” Edward winked over his shoulder badly. “And I’ll show you some real magic later.” 

 

Oswald would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of Ed when he gave the final approval for the Riddler-ette costume. And there might have been a time not too long ago when he would have purchased another suit for the real Riddler. Back when there had been plenty of nights of role play. 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re too old for such things now.”

 

“One is never too old for spandex. It holds in all the lumps and smooths all the wrinkles.”

 

“There is not enough spandex in the world to smooth out all the lumps on this old body.” 

 

“I like your lumps.”

 

“With each passing year I resemble my namesake more and more.” 

 

Oswald was not a vain man. He was a proud man but never a vain one. However Edward was both vain and proud and he often wondered what the other man saw in him. 

 

“Did you know penguins keep each other warm by huddling their blubber together?” Ed asked.

 

“If not, I would know the last fifty times you have told me.” 

 

“And you will know the next fifty as well.” Ed gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “What is black and white and red all over?” It was an old riddle between them.

 

“One Commissioner Gordon chasing after the Bat.” 

 

The Riddler grinned. “That’s a good one. But no. A blushing penguin.” He kissed the tip of his nose. 

 

“It’s only the cold.” Oswald grunted.

 

“Nope. You turn a delightful shade blue when you’re cold, Ozzie my dear.” Edward leaned towards his ear. “But take me upstairs and let me warm you until you are red all over.” 

 

Oswald felt himself blush even hotter. It was ridiculous that the rogue’s words could still get him hot under the collar, and lower, at his age. Ed started to kiss his neck making him forget the cold and then nothing and the cold returned. 

 

“What is that building across the street?” 

 

Oswald turned to face what Edward had seen even though he already new what he would see. He sighed. “It moved in after the Lounge was announced. It is not affiliated in any way to the Iceberg franchise.” 

 

“Gotham Chapel.” Ed giggled. “Get married by the Batman himself.” 

 

“It is an eyesore.” Oswald mumbled. 

 

“Of course it is.” Ed pulled on Oswald’s hand. “Come on I want a closer look.” 

 

Oswald crossed the street with Edward. There were at least two quickie chapels for every casino in this city and though he paid them little mind he found this particular building a personal insult. 

 

“Have you ever thought about it?” Ed asked.

 

“What?” 

 

“Marriage.” 

 

“Marriage is not for people like us, Ed.” Oswald paused. “You?” He wondered if Nigma was starting to regret the path of his life. 

 

“Of course I have.” Ed turned back and grinned at him. “You are a very rich man, Ozzie. And you, as you like to remind me, are much older than me. I would be a very wealthy widower if something were to happen to you.” 

 

“I should warn you, I have planted evidence that points to the Riddler if any fowl play were to pluck the Penguin.”

 

“What if I were innocent of the deed?” 

 

“Then I suppose you better hope someone takes you out first.” 

 

“As if you would ever allow that to happen.” 

 

“I have no idea what you mean, Ed.” 

 

“You don’t think I know without the Penguin’s protection I would have never lasted in the game this long?” Edward stopped. “The Riddler will not last long after the Penguin. But the Riddler’s last game will be one to remember, I promise Gotham that.” 

 

Oswald did not like the turn of the conversation. But he could not ignore that he was getting older, they were both getting older. 

 

“Look a Cat married a Bat.” Ed pointed at one of the pictures in the chapel’s window. “As if Selina would ever marry that overgrown winged rodent. And is that Mad Hatter and Bookworm? Think they have one of Riddler and Penguin?” 

 

“Do not be ridiculous.” 

 

“We should do it, Ozzie.” 

 

“Do what?” 

 

“Get married of course,” he grinned. “Let’s make them hang a Riddler and Penguin in the window.” 

 

“We can’t get married, Ed.” 

 

“It wouldn’t have to be real.” Edward tugged on his arm. “Come on it’ll be hoot. Just imagine the others’ mugs when we tell them.” 

 

Oswald would marry this ridiculous man this moment if he could. He would have married him years ago. And in his heart they were as good as. 

 

Oswald removed the emerald ring that he wore on his pinky because it reminded him of Edward. He held it out to the rogue. 

 

“Edward Nigma will you do me the honor of becoming my life partner in crime?” 

 

Edward held his hand up.

 

“Touching one, yet holding two, it is a one link chain binding those who keep words true, ‘til death rent it in twain. What am I?” Oswald placed the ring on Edward’s finger, he wished he could have blamed the tears in his eyes on the cold night air. “Yes. Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, I Edward Franklin Nashton Nigma will take thee as mine life partner in crime.” 

 

“Then let us show this establishment what a real Gotham wedding looks like.”

 

X

 

Edward flopped on Oswald’s belly. Oswald felt like a cigar even though he was trying to quit at Ed’s wishes. Good sex always made him feel like a smoke. 

 

“The term honeymoon comes from the Babylonian practice of serving a newlywed couple honey mead during their first month of marriage. The mead was believed to have aphrodisiac properties.” Edward traced circles around his bellybutton. “And it was thought to heighten fertility.” 

 

“And what does this have to do with us?” 

 

“I just realized this is our honeymoon. And you are my honey bear, Ozzie.” Edward poked his belly. “And your honey is more of an aphrodisiac than all the mead in the Lounge. And I am drunk on you.” He giggled. 

 

“I will remind you of that delightful image when you are sick with hangover in the morning.” Oswald chuckled.

 

“Riddle me this.” Edward raised himself. “The Pope has it but he does not use it. A husband has it but his wife uses it. Nuns do not need it. Joker has none. And Oswald Cobblepot has a fat one. But Lucius Fox has a small one. What am I?”

 

Oswald trailed his hand down Ed’s front towards his anatomy. “The answer better be surname, Nigma.” 

 

“Correct!” Edward played with the ring on his finger, the only item he was currently still wearing. “I was just thinking, I know the ceremony is not legally binding, but would you mind if I took your name, Mr. Cobblepot?”

 

“You want to change your name to Ed Cobblepot?” Oswald laughed. “Doesn’t exactly have the same punning affect as Ed Nigma does it?” 

 

“No.” Ed shook his head. “My legal name is still Nashton. Was thinking I would rather have the name of the man I loved instead of the name of the father I hated. But Nigma would still be my professional name, so to speak.” 

 

Oswald had never loved Edward more than in that moment.

 

“It would be my honor, Mr. Cobblepot.” 

 

“Or we could always change both our names to Nigmapot.” Edward giggled. 

 

“Why not Cobblema?” 

 

“Doesn’t have the same ring to it.” Ed picked up the photo off the bed stand. “We should have the Gotham Gazette print this in our announcement.” 

 

Oswald looked down at the photo in Edward’s hand. The two of them stood on either side with the Batman and Robin lookalikes tied up between them. 

 

“Think the Batman will send us a wedding gift?” Ed asked. 

 

“In this case I believe it would be more fitting for the grooms to send the gift.” Oswald chuckled. “We will show Gotham to respect the joint partnership of Penguin and Riddler.” 

 

Oswald kissed his husband.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and giving me a reason to play again with my favorite Riddlebird pairing.
> 
> I really feel as though this could have been better but it is what it is. 
> 
> Leave a comment if you wish. :)


End file.
